Apparently, writing books isn’t easy. I can say this with authority, because I’ve written the rough draft of an entire chapter. I even recorded it for you, which also isn’t easy, but can be a lot of fun. I’ve grown to enjoy all of it.

Finding My Voice Amidst Chaos

As Matt and I prepared to get that first episode out to you, though, the tragic violence in the Middle East weighed on me. My book is about the people of ancient Israel. It’s about Rebekah, a woman chosen by God to bear the same responsibilities as the patriarchs of Genesis. I want to tell you her story and I want to tell you all the ways primarily male bible commentators have missed her story. But the deaths of thousands of innocent civilians in Palestine make certain phrases stick in my throat. It’s not the right time to talk about Israel’s origin story or their heroes, no matter how carefully I would try to do it. I regret this, especially since it has been so long since I regularly podcasted. I’m grateful to you for still listening and I looked forward to starting a new series with you. Unfortunately, while I’ll still be writing Rebekah, you’ll have to wait until a more appropriate time to hear it.

Until then, though, we thought small updates on the writing process could be interesting to you, and would help keep me going. We are winging it, here, folks, so if we’re wrong about that, we’re grateful for your grace.

The Art of Embracing Imperfection

The main question I had while writing my first chapter was how to grab your attention, and how to make you care about this topic I’m passionate about. I’m confident in my research skills and a good thinker, but writing a book is a new challenge. If I know I get to turn what I’m writing into a podcast, then I can use my voice to communicate with you. If we take out the audio, then all I have are the words on the page. Those words don’t often behave the way I want them to, and that can be paralyzing.

One sentence got me past the paralysis. “It doesn’t have to be good.” I’m an achiever. I’ve always gotten good grades, thank you very much. If it’s something that I care about, then I strive to be the best I can be at it. Sometimes that’s meant that I have actively chosen not to do certain things I lack an initial knack for-take darts, golf, and music for example. But I need to write this book and so I have to permit myself to suck. And I have to give myself that permission multiple times a day. It’s a vulnerable place to be, but it’s the only way I’ll ever get where I dream of going.

Go suck at something today, friends, so I won’t feel so alone. Thanks for listening!