Every once in a while, when I verbally decapitate someone I love, or when I feel deeply misunderstood, shame and inadequacy come and build an ugly little nest in my heart.  They whisper the need to manage all things and control all people so no one will uncover the secret: I am imperfect, and I fear that makes me unlovable. When these feelings take up residence, there’s only one way to evict them.  I cling to the truth that I am already, and have always been, wholly beloved by the One who made me.  The real challenge is believing there’s not one damn thing I can do to change that.  

Such an outlandish claim requires evidence, and the story I want to tackle first here with you has served me well.  It stars a woman who knows shame intimately.  She is the epitome of rejection and unworthiness.  But she is also one of the most courageous women I’ve read.  She feels her lack deeply.  She must-she’s lived with it for twelve years, but with bravery I still can’t quite fathom, she hands it to Jesus.  There is no berating from him.  No judgment.  Only love, love, love.  And freedom.  When I feel ugly inside, I fight to remind myself that Jesus stops the haters for me (including the nest-builders), calls me Daughter, and makes me clean, just like he does with this fierce Courageous One.  It matters to me that she’s a woman.  It makes a difference that her affliction is uniquely female. And it means everything that while the religious people keep her out by following the rules and their fears, Jesus flings the doors wide open and calls her in.

I feel seen when I read this story, so it’s where we begin with Part 1, The Bleeding Woman: Rebel with a Cause.